These 5 taxi drivers probably had a worse night than you

When you think of getting a ride home from the Square, what comes first to your mind?

I bet drunkenly urinating off of the back of a rickshaw down North Lamar isn’t the first thing that comes to your mind. That is the reality for many rickshaw drivers in Oxford on busy game weekends.

Many other stories, just as wild and ludicrous as the one above, have come from those memorable nights out on the town that we can all surely relate to.

Here are a few hilarious tales from local taxi service men and women that are sure to have you saying, “WTF?”

1. The One with the Moving Urinal
   “I had this couple needing a ride back to their house. The man kept asking me to pull over but the woman was just laughing saying no. It seemed like a big joke so I kept pedaling. The next thing I know, people are honking at me as I drive by. I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong so I glance back and the man was kneeling on his seat, peeing off the back of the rickshaw. I had to pull over and let him finish his business before I kicked them out and charged them for the ride that lasted maybe 200 feet.”

2. The One with the Cliché Vomit Story
   “These three guys needed a ride back to campus pretty early in the night. Two were very drunk. The not-so-drunk friend had a bottle of water for the other two to share. He kept telling them to ‘act normal’ and ‘not to puke.’ I asked if they needed to pull over and get out but they said no. I remember I hit a pothole and then drunk guy #1 began to puke. It landed all over his friends in the back seat too. I was pissed and had to charge them for cleaning the car.”

   

3. The One with the Crier
   “One time this girl got in the back seat crying her eyes out. She smelled like really strong alcohol. She said that she had failed her midterm and needed to blow off some steam, but none of her friends came with her, so she got too drunk and cried all night instead. I was so confused!”

4. The One with the Cheater
   “This girl ran into my car and told me to book it. I thought she was in trouble so I asked what was wrong. She told me that she had just kissed a guy at the bar and her boyfriend was pissed and has been chasing her. I just laughed and took her where she wanted to go.”

5. The One with the Police
   “I picked up a girl and her dad outside of Bacchus, and, before we even got to the red light on Jackson, another guy jumped in and asked to join their ride. The family said it was fine and then he said he had to grab his girlfriend. Next thing I know, these two burly guys walk up carrying the guy’s girlfriend. She was completely trashed. They put her in the cab and I could tell the daughter and father were uncomfortable. I start to drive again and the girl gets sick immediately. She puked all over the 2nd row and we pulled over. The family was so mad, and so I told the boyfriend he had to pay for their ride and to have the car cleaned. He jumped out and got really mad. He grabbed his girlfriend and rolled her out of the cab. He started to drag her back toward the Square. That’s when the cops showed up. They started asking him questions and got all of our information. I felt really bad for the family, so I got one of my coworkers to give them a ride home. I don’t know what happened with the guy and his girlfriend, but I hope she found someone that won’t drag her down a street.